We offer couples, marital, relationship and sex counselling and therapy. Positive and healthy relationships make for happy and fulfilling lives and stable communities. Negative and destructive relationships are a source of major stress and unhappiness, contributing to depression, ill-health and dysfunctional families and impacting on the wider social structure.

When we are ‘in love’ and all goes well, it’s very easy to take our partners for granted. In the excitement of planning ‘fairy tale’ weddings and the ideal of ‘family life’, we often neglect to consider important issues regarding shared values and goals. However, relationships need active maintenance to be successful and to remain healthy and provide mutual support on a long-term basis. When couples face major life-changes, such as: having children; going through a change, or loss, of job; a move or relocation; health problems; financial pressures; etc. they may find that their usual coping strategies are no longer effective and the relationship deteriorates. Instead of being a haven from the world, home becomes a source of conflict and additional stress.

Becoming parents can be hugely rewarding, but the responsibilities and demands of raising children often takes a toll on the marriage. Having babies and young children often means sleepless or interrupted nights and the resulting tiredness can affect the couple sexually and emotionally. Watching your children grow up is a source of joy, but as they develop their own ideas and opinions, question your authority and test your boundaries, this can be a challenge for any parent, and differing approaches can cause major conflicts between the couple.

Financial problems or insecurities often lead to rows and rather than pulling together, the couple take out their stress on each other.

Sometimes couples have to deal with difficult and often very painful and sensitive issues: sexual problems, jealousy, affairs, and polygamy (more than one wife). Sometimes one of the partners has negative habits or addictions, such as alcohol or substance abuse, or compulsive gambling or shopping, that have a major impact on the well-being of their spouse and the rest of the family.

Couples may have fallen into bad habits where one is domineering and abuses their spouse, whilst in some relationships, both parties are aggressive and angry and tend to take out their frustrations on each other.

Relationship counselling can help you to stop arguing and start talking, learn how to communicate, to express your needs and to listen, rediscover your love and respect for your partner, and address and resolve the factors that led to the couple ‘burnout’.

In some cases, the couple may decide that they wish to separate or divorce, but even when the relationship has run its course, it’s essential to learn from what went wrong in order to avoid repeating the same pattern in future relationships. It’s also vital to agree how to handle the situation with regards to any children of the relationship: how to be responsible co-parents and to rebuild a different but positive relationship as ‘exes’. This will benefit both partners, as well as reducing the negative impact on the children who still need support and love from both of their parents.

It’s important to make mutually agreeable decisions about how and when to tell the children about what’s happening, what the custody and child support arrangements will be, and to consider how to maintain good parent-child relationships after the separation, so that the children don’t suffer unnecessary collateral damage.

It’s important that a relationship counsellor has had specialist training in this field, and is culturally aware, so do ask about the credentials of anyone offering therapy for couples and families. Dr Leila Edwards has over 30 years experience of working with couples, parents, and in relationship counselling.

Contact us now to discuss your needs

info@themakoverexperience.com

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